Sunday, December 22, 2013

Christmas Song Wisdom: You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel,
 
Mr. Grinch, 
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul, 

Mr. Grinch.
I wouldn't touch you with a
Thirty-nine and a half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,
 
Mr. Grinch,
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,

Mr Grinch,
The three best words that best describe you,
Are as follows, and I quote"
Stink!
Stank!
Stunk!

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch
You're the king of sinful sots
Your hearts a dead tomato squashed with moldy purple spots,

Mr. Grinch,
Your sole is a appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch
With a noxious super naus
You're a crooked jerky jockey and,
You drive a crooked hoss,
 
Mr. Grinch!
You're a three-decker sauerkraut
And toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!

Dr. Suess and Albert Hague
Words and Music
1966, Alfred Music Publishing Co., Inc.

Albert Hague played Mr. Shorofsky in Fame.